Sickness and Health

For those who aren't aware....

Yesterday Lucy and I got home from spending 6 days at Children's Hospital in Milwaukee. Last week she started getting really sick - spiking very high fevers and not eating. We ended up in the ER, were there for 7 hours, and then she was transported to Children's. She was hooked up to an IV the entire time, so she wouldn't get dehydrated, and they treated her fevers while running multiple tests to determine the cause. Her fevers, at one point, were going higher than 104. It was very scary. After a couple days the final lab came back and it turned out she had a UTI. Those are much worse for a baby since they're so little and any infection takes more of a toll. They added antibiotics to her IV and her fevers finally started going down. Shawn stayed at the hospital with us the first couple nights but had to go home eventually because of work and Asa. Asa was able to spend most of the 6 days with my parents.

We are so thankful that Lucy didn't have anything more serious and that she responded so well to treatment. We're also thankful that our insurance covered such an amazing hospital. She received the best care possible.

I'm truly exhausted from spending so much time in upheaval and emotional stress. I missed my little boy SO much during that time. It's almost like a week of my life just disappeared. I'm still processing everything that happened. But, for now, life is sweet and wonderful with my little ones near me.

Life is Beautiful

Life is busy and wonderful and beautiful all at the same time.

There are so many changes happening for me that it would take days to write about on here.

Let's just say I'm entering into a season of change and growth and renewed purpose. I have nothing but excitement about the future.

And little Lucy grows with leaps and bounds and laughter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUSeOaG-uf4

In all her happiness.

Kiddos

Having two kids is keeping me much busier than I used to be, hence less internet time. To keep my few readers happy I placate you with a few recent pics in the meantime....

My Newest Love

I haven't been keeping up with my blog at all. :/

But I thought I'd share the latest news.

July 8th, 2011
8 lb 4 oz
21.5 inches




Please welcome Lucy Adrianna to the world. We sure are glad she's here.

Galena Getaway

Getting away for the weekend with a group of girls is where it's at.

Especially when you have such awesome friends.

Adoption

Yesterday was a monumental day for some dear friends of mine. For the last three years they have been foster parents to twin girls. These girls came to their home when they were just babies. Malnourished and emotionally disconnected little baby girls in need of love and a healthy environment. Yesterday my friends legally adopted them. They were transformed under their care. They became healthy and happy and flourished under the love they received from their foster parents who are now officially their Mommy and Daddy. I'm just so happy for them.

When we were having trouble starting a family we sat down with our friends to learn more about becoming foster parents. They'd had the girls in their home for a little less than six months at the time but were already very familiar with the inner workings of the foster care system. We had decided that there was only so far medically we were willing to go to become pregnant and that maybe God had another plan for us to become parents. I'd reached a point in my life where I was completely trusting that I would get a chance to be a mother and I was willing to become one to someone else's child if needed. We had a lovely meeting with our friends and learned quite a bit, enough that we contacted the county and received the application packet so we could start the process. Little did we know that, even as we'd had the meeting with our friends, I was already expecting Ace. Isn't it funny how things like that happen? We put the foster parent plan on the back burner not knowing if we'd ever revisit it or not.

Now we're six weeks away from the arrival of our second little one. We have been so blessed to start and have this little family of ours. But all those children in need of a loving home still weigh on my heart. I know the whole process my friends went through was an incredibly difficult and drawn-out one full of uncertainty and some heartbreaking moments. I know if we pursue this avenue in the future it will not be easy. But I also know these children are on my heart for a reason. I've always wanted more than two children. Maybe the next addition/s to our family won't be born into it.

*Just my musings, no plans in place at the moment.*

Soon

Less than 8 weeks.....






This little puddin' is scheduled to be here on July 8th unless he/she decides to come sooner.

I can't wait to meet my littlest one. Boy? Girl? What say ye?

Mother's Day

Every day I am amazed at how much Asa is growing. Just recently I looked at him and thought "He's not a baby anymore!" I don't know exactly when the transition happened. It was gradual and I didn't even notice it happening. He became a little boy.

On Mother's Day we spent the afternoon with my grandparents, parents, and aunt & uncle. We had four generations gathered. Oma (my mom) and Auntie C (her sis) took Asa for a little walk. Here are some highlights:














My little boy is so beautiful.

Done & Done

I just realized that I haven't posted to this blog since rejoining facebook. No good! I plan on being much more active here in the future.

One thing that will encourage that is the fact that I've deleted my facebook account. I haven't temporarily deactivated it or taken a hiatus. I've gotten rid of it for good.

I just finished reading a book entitled The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I plan on reading it again right away and really making note of the things that resonated with me. One thing that did stick with me was her approach at deciding what to include in her regular life. She asked very simple and pointed questions. What in your life makes you feel good? What in your life makes you feel bad? Obviously we can't avoid every bad feeling. Sometimes certain responsibilities just suck and don't make us happy. But facebook? What an optional part of life! Did I enjoy keeping in touch with people and hearing about their lives? Yes. But I can also do that through email, snail mail, and phone calls. Almost every time I checked facebook it made me feel bad in some way. Between the gossip, the politics and the arguments I was always feeling frustrated. I won't pretend that I didn't participate in some of that myself. But why subject myself daily to something that makes me feel bad? It seems kind of crazy to me.

I know there are quite a few friends and family members who liked my Asa updates so I'll be uploading pics to flickr or a similar site now and then and linking to them here so everyone stays updated.

I also plan on keeping up with my own version of The Happiness Project on here, as well as just random musings and updates.

Thanks for reading and hanging out in the panyk room!

Squeaky Clean

Over time I've been trying to switch to all-natural cleaners in our home. I liked the idea of using something with less chemicals, especially now that we have little ones. I certainly didn't want to shell out the big bucks for 'natural' and 'organic' cleaners, though I know they are better for the environment and safer to use in the home. We don't have that kind of money. So I started making most of my cleaners from scratch using recipes I found online. For awhile now I've been using my own homemade surface cleaner, glass cleaner, and a cleaner for use on moldy or mildewy surfaces. They all work great and I know exactly what goes into each one and feel good about using them. Plus it saves a lot of money! Using ingredients like baking soda and white vinegar is very friendly to the pocketbook.

I've long thought about switching to a homemade laundry detergent. I have really sensitive skin and have only ever found one or two liquid detergents that don't cause my skin to break out in eczema-like rashes. And purchasing detergent and fabric softener really adds up over time. So I finally did it. I did some research and found a recipe that was easy to put together and very low-cost. All the comments I'd read, on multiple sites, said it was a very effective recipe and great for people with sensitive skin. Here is the recipe I used:

6 cups Borax
4 cups Baking Soda
4 cups Washing Soda
4 cups grated Bar Soap

I actually halved this recipe and it made approximately half a gallon of powder detergent. Some people with larger families have doubled the recipe and stored it in a huge canister. The washing soda is made by Arm & Hammer. I couldn't find it at Wal-Mart or Target but my local grocery store carried it. And you can buy really big boxes of the baking soda in the same aisle as all the laundry stuff. For the bar soap you can use any soap you like. Some people use a special bar soap made for laundry, some people use soaps for sensitive skin, others pick one based on scent. I bought some Lever 2000 in a citrus scent. For my half recipe I needed two cups of the grated soap. I found one bar was enough though some people use one and a half. When grating be sure to use the big holes on the grater, not the smaller ones for zesting. It would take way too long. I put all the ingredients in a plastic canister and shook them together. You only need to use 1/8 of a cup of this detergent for every medium-sized load of laundry. That's two tablespoons. I bought one of those little 'shot glasses' in the kitchen gadget section that are for measuring small amounts of liquid. One shot glass is equal to 1/8 of a cup so one scoop does it! A formula scooper is also the same size.

I used this detergent for the first time yesterday and I am very pleased with the results. My clothes are very clean and have a very very light suggestion of a citrus scent on them. If I'd used more soap in the recipe it would probably be more obvious. You can also use essential oils in the recipe to obtain the scent of your choice.

I also followed the advice of many people online and am using something new for fabric softener. I took a Downy ball and filled it to the 'extra large load' line, which is approximately half a cup, with white vinegar. Just toss that in the wash. It softens the clothes without leaving any of that regular fabric softener residue on them and the clothes absolutely do not pick up a vinegar scent. Oh, and I need to mention, my washing machine frequently has a damp or mildewy odor. Even after I clean the machine out it doesn't smell the greatest. After doing just one load of wash with this detergent and the vinegar in the Downy ball? My machine was CLEAN and there was no odor anywhere.

Okay, I know this post is long, but if you're interested in switching I highly suggest it. The savings will be huge. None of the ingredients are expensive to begin with and each one of them will contribute to many batches of the detergent. And only using one little scoop each time? It will last me forever.

Spring is in the Air

The last couple days have been fantastic. Even though autumn is my favorite season I think one of my favorite times of year is when you can tell spring is really around the corner. That winter is going away and the sun is shining and the birds are chirping.

Yesterday I put a hoodie on Asa and he ran around the backyard of our condo complex. He threw a ball over and over and had such a blast. I can't wait to spend a lot of time outside with him this year.

Today is my favorite day so far though. Today was the first day I felt it was warm enough to open the patio door and let that fresh air blow through the living room and into the kitchen. It made doing dishes a lot more enjoyable.

So now I'm going to go sit on the couch, enjoy some rice pudding, and let the breeze blow over me while Asa takes a nap.

Baby Pancake 2.0

Today was my ultrasound. I scheduled it for a day that Shawn was home from work so we could all go as a family. It was so fun to see our second Baby Pancake! The little one was moving and squirming the whole time. All the measurements came out great, including the heart rate, and the baby was pronounced very healthy looking.

So what are we having???????

A baby. Duh. We didn't find out the gender.

Here is a pic of the baby looking at us:





Here is another 'facing-the-camera' pic. I think the baby looks like a little samurai in this picture. That is the hand in kind of a ninja pose.





And finally..... little itty bitty baby feet!



I can't wait to meet this little cutie.

My (Coffee) Cup Runneth Over

Tonight Shawn gave me the night 'off' to do my own thing. He's good like that. I had every intention of going to Starbucks, journal in hand, to listen to a podcast I'd been anxious to hear and to journal my thoughts about it. I made it Starbucks, bought my drink, set up my little station and got out my iPod. It was dead. I hadn't charged it. I thought "Great, I came all the way here and now it's for no reason."

To make sense of what happened next I have to give you a little background. A few weeks ago, on another one of my nights off, I was at the same Starbucks reading a book and listening to some music. One of the employees rushed towards the exit in tears. Her coworker caught up with her, they whispered a few things, he gave her a very long hug and she left crying. Even though I didn't know why she was crying I was really sad for her. I felt compelled to pray for her then and there. Ever since then I've said a prayer almost every time I've driven past Starbucks because I remember that instance.

Tonight that same lady was working. As I was packing up my stuff and putting my coat back on I felt, very strongly, that I was supposed to share the story with her. I had a little inner argument with God about it. Approaching a stranger about something so personal is definitely not in my comfort zone. I was so nervous. But I also knew that I wouldn't be able to walk out of there without saying anything to her and not feel terrible about it. So I went up to her. I told her what I had seen and that I had been praying for her ever since then. Her eyes teared up and she asked if she could hug me. She gave me a very long and tight hug and thanked me over and over again for praying for her and for sharing it with her. I told her that I didn't need to know why she had been crying or if she even believed in prayer but that I thought it might mean something to know she was being prayed for. She insisted on giving me a free drink coupon. She gave me her name and I told her I would continue praying for her. She hugged me again. As I was leaving one of her coworkers came out of the back room and I heard her saying "The most AWESOME thing just happened to me!"

I'm so glad I listened to that still, small voice. The idea of talking to her was so much scarier than actually going through with it. It left both of us feeling amazing and it was a great encounter. I think, after some time, I might ask her if there is anything specific I can be praying about for her. I'm so glad I stepped outside my comfort zone so I could be a blessing to someone else. And now I know I didn't go there for no reason.

Green

Envy is a strange thing. It's strange because it can take so many forms and intensities.

For instance, I am now jealous of every person who lives near or around the town of Galena. Why? Because they live near a restaurant that serves what is, without a trace of a doubt, the most delicious sandwich I have ever eaten in my life. It was a Croque Monsieur. It's French. I've had versions of it both in France and here in the States. This was the best. Not just the best Croque Monsieur - the best sandwich.

I don't tend to be envious over material possessions. More often I am envious over experiences other people have had or skills/talents they are blessed with. I don't desire YOUR Croque Monsieur. I desire your access to one on a daily basis if needed.

I just heard a song by Ingrid Michaelson (courtesy of my Bon Iver station on pandora) and I envy her ability to write lyrics.

"You've made me into someone
Who should not hold a loaded gun
And now you sit upon my chest
Knock out my wind, knock out my best"

My lyric-writing attempts come nowhere near to this. I enjoy what I've written (though I haven't written anything new in a long time) but I don't feel like my writing will affect anyone in any profound way.

So, today I'd like to live in Galena and be able to write beautiful lyrics. Is that too much to ask?

And we're off.......

We leave for Dubuque/Galena this afternoon. I'm really looking forward to spending an entire weekend away with my boys. This is only the second trip we've taken with Ace, the first being Door County last summer. This is also, most likely, the last trip where it will just be the three of us.

I have some very mixed feelings about this. I find myself really trying to savor all these moments of our family-of-three. We are so excited about the second Baby Pancake arriving this summer. Every day I enjoy the little movements and kicks. I enjoy my expanding belly. I look forward to meeting this little one and holding it and loving it the way I do Ace. It will be the start of a new chapter for this family. But it feels kind of sad leaving this current chapter behind. It's been awesome embarking on this journey of parenthood with Shawn. I've loved learning to be a mom and watching Shawn be an amazing father. I've loved being home with Ace during the day and having so much one-on-one time. I know this change is good but it's bittersweet at the same time. I went through the same emotions during my first pregnancy, when the due date was looming close and I realized it would never be 'just us two' again. That life was going to change forever and there was no going back. Would I change anything about that? Of course not. Would I change anything about this next baby coming? Of course not. But it's a little sad all the same.

But it's also incredibly exciting.

Get Outta Dodge

Or Delavan.

Shawn has a rare Saturday-off-work/Sunday-off-music-team combo coming up this weekend. We had originally thought of going to Minneapolis but he doesn't get off work early enough on Friday to make the drive reasonable. (It takes 5-6 hours.)

So, we're going to Dubuque. I know. Random, eh? But it's only 20 or so minutes from Galena, IL and we've always wanted to go there. The drive will take about 3 hours with stops and that's much more manageable. Santa brought us Visa giftcards for Christmas so we can finance this vacation with that. It'll be nice to get out of town as a family and relax for a weekend. I can't wait to take Ace swimming! He hasn't been since last summer and he loved it then.

Anyone familiar with either Dubuque or Galena? Any tips of places we should visit? Restaurants, sites, activities, shops? Any advice would be great.

the panyk room

"A panic room is a fortified room which is installed in a private residence or business to provide a safe hiding place for the inhabitants." - wikipedia

I decided to do my own take on the 'panic room' and call this blog 'the panyk room.' This room is not for hiding in but it is a safe place. Instead of burrowing away in it in case of some outside threat it is a room I'm inviting my loved ones in to. I found the photo in my header online and loved it. That's my idea of a panyk room. So, c'mon in. Plop down in one of those chairs next to me. We can sit by the fireplace and have a nice little chat.

Also, if any of you have a blog, please post the link in the comments. I'd love to follow you too.

Title

So I'm trying to come up with a title for this blog. My friend Stacy suggested 'Panyk at the Disco' which I particularly liked. Any other ideas?

I make no promises as to how often I'll update this thing. I've been notoriously bad at blogging in the past.

On a random note - today I went to Brodie's Beef and got an order of deep fried pickles. I thought they'd be those pickle chips, but they were small dill spears and they came with ranch sauce. As a pregnant woman I find the existence of these pickles to be a sign that God loves me.

Welcome

I'll be updating here shortly. Stay tuned.....